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Episode 4: Listening - a misplaced art

Updated: Dec 12, 2021


I'll be honest with you and say that this Listening episode isn't what I thought it would be.

We don't talk about non-verbal utterances ("Mmhmm!" "Ah!") to show we're engaged. We don't talk about nodding. We don't actually really talk much about body language.

Instead we talk about attention, and how to use it. We talk about sharing the floor, and how to do so without giving away our power. And, mostly, we talk about questions.

“Listening is not passive. It's not staying quiet or just giving space over. It's an active, collaborative, co-creation of a listening space."

That's a quote from Ashley, inspiring us to think differently about listening - you can find out more about her below.

So yeah, it turns out talking is really crucial to listening! Talking in response to what someone has said; talking in questions; talking with curiosity, eager to get to the bottom of the discussion - as close to the truth of a topic as you can (whatever that means...can't wait to release our episodes on Truth in 2022!).

Listen here or wherever you get your podcasts, and let us know what you think by emailing

Meet Ashley Duncan

For this episode we spoke with Ashley: a self-confessed God-bothering feminist mother of two and trainee therapist. Ashley recalls how when she was sixteen, a supportive adult helped her to really feel listened to, and how she's been repaying the favour in all aspects of her life ever since. In our episode on Listening Ashley coins the phrases "co-conspirator" and "grace-filled listening" - both things are as awesome as they sound.

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